Feb.28, 2006

It is 34C at 1pm today. That's a little hot for February. Although nice, we are all wondering how hot the summer will be! A few days ago while talking to my mom on the phone, I told her the temp, about 25 - she laughed and said they were about opposite that: -25!! My turn to laugh. The hard thing over here is that you can't wear shorts or tank tops, especially women. So jeans in 34C is hot. But, I'm used to jeans in 50C! Don't want to go there again. I laughed at an email from Baghdad yesterday in which a local told me "It's getting hot. We don't like summer here in Iraq." Insightful. So, it's not just the foreigners that hate the heat.


The convoy got up here today no problems. And I got mail! 4 CDs which brightened my day. The roads are now open, but in Baghdad they will be closed again at 4pm. The locals say that Baghdad is still dangerous because no one knows what/where things will happen, if anything. Yesterday a mortar flew by our site there but hit somewhere else. I had to laugh at that because we just had one guy leave here thinking that Baghdad would be safer.

There was wicked lightening in the sky last night (uh, where else would it be?). It spread out over the whole sky, kinda like a lightening storm in the prairies where you can see open sky. I didn't last long because I couldn't stand the wailing at that time.


We had to let go half our day labourers yesterday. They make 20,000 IQD (Iraqi Dinar), which is about $13 USD/day. That's a great wage for unskilled labour here. We know some locals paying their work crews $5 USD. It sounds ridiculously low to Western standards, and is, but cost of living is so low here. We just got mixed spices from the local market. They sell them bulk and mix them there. So we got a mixed curry type spice for meats and a mixed spice that smells of cumin and coriander for rice/potatoes and veggies. I just may make my lentil soup (dal) tonight. These spices were the size of a ziplock sandwich bag, about 3/4 full and three bags cost 2000 IQD. That's not even $2 USD. Food is cheap here. Although, villas in Baghdad are similar in price to houses in big cities back home and hard core Muslims don't believe in banks and mortgages. We used to have a guy working for us that saved his cash in jars buried in the garden.

Feb.27, 2006

The roads re-opened in Iraq today. It will be interesting to see if the violence resumes. There was bad stuff going on during the road closures, but it gave people time to calm down. Although, the general census over here is that things will not calm down entirely. Grudges are held and revenge is common on this side of the world. No one, locals included, will be surprised if civil war breaks out but honestly, I don't think it will. I think the whole "civil war" term was coined by the media for sensationalism. They want to sell their papers and will falsely report or inaccurately report stuff over here to do that. I think the unrest will continue, but not full scale war. Besides, what is the definition of "civil war"?


Our work force increased today because the roads are open but we shall see if that trend continues. Some of the workers that were stuck on base the last few days have left to go check up on their families, which is understandable but frustrating when there is a project schedule to keep.


Due to road closures no fuel was delivered so we are so low that today power shortages from 1-5pm began. This will continue until fuel gets delivered. If there is no fuel delivery within the next few day, we will have a blackout. Our generator has some fuel so we should be okay.


It is cloudy and cold today, which is a change from the mid-20s (C) we were experiencing this week. Last night as it began raining, I was hoping for a monsoon to turn the clay desert into mud and suck up the insurgents. But, this morning the ground was only wet, not muddy.


We shall see what happens. Life goes on, as usual and as normally as it can over here.

baking bread

I just had the most fabulous experience. I got to walk into the room of the Iraqi kitchen where they were making their flat bread pronounced khoebz. The ovens were fired up, the small room was full of men each with an individual task, the balls of dough were ready to be flattened, and four men were lined up at the mouth of their clay oven. They looked like Italian men in a pizza kitchen throwing pizza dough into the air. Quick easy movements, they made it seem so simple!



They indicated I could try throwing one. The guys closest to me was my mentor. I followed his steps but my round ball of dough did not flatten and spin like his into a perfect man-made circle. It lobbed and lumped. They laughed and he gave me a new ball to try. After the third one I got the hangnail of it.



In one easy motion the dough is transferred from the hands to a round dish-like utensil. Quickly, he throws the flattened dough against the wall inside the clay oven. He hands me the round dish with flattened bread. My turn to throw it against the wall of the oven, which is more like smashing than throwing because it has to stick to the wall. I don't smash my first throw hard enough and the dough shrivels and falls into the fire below. My second throw pushes the dough into the clay wall of the oven. It sticks. Success! The guy helping me smiles and hands me another. I throw/smash three against the inside walls of the clay oven.



A minute later another guy with tongs takes the circular flat bread out of the oven and hands it to me. I taste my joint effort – Iraqi and Canadian working together to achieve a common goal. A few smiles, mimicking behaviour and contagious laughter are the things that transcend political lines and language barriers.

Disillusionment and Hope

The revolution in your soul mirrors the civil unrest in the country.

Curfews placed on the country mirror the limitations you place on yourself. On the brink of radical change, unknown frontiers to be discovered or fought through. Seeking elusive peace. Wading knee deep through the bullshit, looking for one iota of truth. One nugget of gold to give your day meaning.

Then you remember the soft 2 y/o voice on the phone that says "I yuv you." You read the dictated email of a wise 3 y/o that tells you to have "a rainbow day" - not knowing you live in a colourless world. A young teen asks for your help for a humanitarian project.

And you remember that there is some good in the world. That there is some innocence left. And you pray for the strength to make it through one more day.

Caffeine Rituals

Imagination will take you far. Maybe not far in this world, but far away from this world. My first imagination exercise in the morning is my caffeine ritual. I secured a white cappuccino cup and saucer. It reminds me of the ones I drank from in Paris. I filled that with coffee 3-in-1 from Bali until I ran out. At Christmas I got cappucino mix from the States. When I'm out of my faves, I drink regular coffee (lately there's french vanilla coffeemate at the mess hall!) and pretend it's a milky latte. Sometimes I fill my cup and saucer with hot chocolate in the afternoon. Then I carefully carry it to my desk and check my email as I sip. I pretend I am back in Paris at my favorite cafe with pine wooden floors and tall barstools at the tables for 2. It is the first exercise in make-believe of the day. And it is a requirement.

Water

Water equals life. When you live in the desert, you learn that water is precious. When I lived in the land flowing with waterfalls and rivers, I appreciated the clean, good tasting water coming out of the taps. I never took it for granted. I knew that we were exporting our water to other provinces and down to the States. I knew how hard it was when you lived out of town and had to drill a well and hope you hit water on your land. I was thankful for the clean water and felt guilty when I enjoyed too long of a shower.


Now that it's been over one year in the desert, I have lived on bottled water for drinking and brushing my teeth. I have learned to keep my mouth closed tight in the shower. I have learned that although they say water is tasteless, it does have a flavour. It is not easy to explain. It is not a recognizeable flavour, like "raspberry" or "chocolate." But, I can tell the difference between too many minerals, hard or soft water, or yummy water. The military gets three different types of bottled water. One is awful and I have to force myself to drink it when that's the water on base. It's palatable if you can add some lemon to it or a drink mix. The second is tolerable on its own. The third is so soft and wonderful that I could drink it all day and never need a flavoured drink.


Yesterday, we became thieves, all for the sake of water. We have not had the good "NOVA" water for months. Right now we have the awful tasting one. When we saw that box (there were 4 boxes) we knew we had to have one. It is really not stealing, it is survival. There were many boxes of water, but only 4 of the good stuff. So, we took it. It is now as precious as quality wine. We have agreed only to use it for drinking (no brushing teeth).


Val laughed at our agreement and said he learned his lesson when he used the good quality toilet paper from home to clean up a spill on the floor. The local t.p. you get here is half ply and rough. The military has a good one ply but it's half-rough. This was the soft 2-ply that was specifically ordered from the States (I did not order it but lucked out when a friend quit unexpectedly and gave me 3 rolls).


Water and toilet paper. Two things many people back home take for granted. Two things over here that make the day tolerable.

Dark Musings

Some days are so dark that you cannot see through them. You can not see out of them. You can only see the smothering black darkness stealing your hope and blinding you with its misery. But, as you struggle not to succumb, to continue to fight off the dark black attacks, a flicker of light, a fleeting glimpse of hope - undefiable odds dance elusively close to you, challenging you to believe their existence, reminding you that somewhere, someone is watching, waiting, caring even though the darkness surrounds you, envelopes you and threatens to consume your very soul.

A second publication in February

I have just had an article published on The Creativity Portal! This is an amazing website devoted to creativity. You will find articles and projects on all sorts of creative endeavours.

Please check out my article at:

http://www.creativity-portal.com/bc/other/true.self.html

Desert wilderness

This is the barren desert in which I live. Thank God it is not a permanent home. I used to think of "wilderness" as a forest, because that was my background. Now I understand the term "desert wilderness". Having traveled in Iraq, Egypt and Jordan, I can not understand how Moses and the Israelites survived 40 yrs in the desert, except for the miracles. I am barely surviving after one year, but that's a mental thing. The biggest difference is that if you're born with this as your reality, you have no "other" with which to compare, except for what you see on satellite tv. The Arabs that live here now and have built towns in the middle of nowhere amaze me. Everything (food, clothing, etc) has to be transported from Baghdad to that tiny town to sell in their local markets. Some of little plots of lands and grow food for their family. The will of the human spirit to survive is amazing.

Our garden

I'm sure that you are thinking, "okay, what's so great about that picture?" Let me tell you. Green. Grass. Green. Plants. Green. It is an oasis in a barren desert that makes our day almost tolerable. The shadow is from the gun turret.

Garden tile

That is the painted tile that forms the border of our garden. In the summer during the heat of the day, brilliant fucshia pink flowers pop up and it is such a beauty for colour-starved eyes.

The Importance of Beauty

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But whether a person realizes it or not, beauty can affect their mood, even their outlook on life.


Natural beauty is so important to the well-being of the soul. The heart longs for multiple shades of colour in order to experience the beauty of the rainbow. Watch a small child delight in the colors of a garden or the rainbows of sunlight shining through crystals dancing on a wall.


Take a walk in the forest, a country field, or in a city park. Feel the calmness stir your soul. Work in or simply rest within a garden: feel the peace well up from the sound of running water, the tranquility of the plants. I have felt such peace in the confines of a small walled Japanese garden in the heart of a large metropolitan city, much to my surprise knowing that the hustle and bustle of the city was just on the other side of the wall. Yet, somehow inside there was peace.


Even in the midst of war, my father remembers that Vietnam was a beautiful place. When I leave the barren flat desert land of my base for Baghdad, I find the dusty green palm trees such a beautiful sight because it is such a contrast from seeing nothing but brown flat desert stretching out forever. I peek through the curtains of the armoured car at the Tigris River as we cross the bridge, just to get a glimpse of dirty blue water. All colours in Iraq have a brown tinge to them.


In the spring, two colleagues had a vision to make a garden in a patch of dirt between our trailers. At first I silently laughed at them, thinking that this area would never grow life. The first bag of grass seed arrived from the States by mail. In the cool of the evening one man would dig and rake the soil and then spread the seed. The second man took over by watering the soil every night. Soon grass began to appear, much to my amazement.


One of our local workers had a garden at home and he began bringing us flowers and plants, even a few vegetables to plant. Another local laborer decided that he wanted to work full time on our garden and added rock paths and lovingly watered and planted various plants. The locals bought us tile that they put around our garden like a small fence and painted it like they do in their gardens.


They made the dream of one man possible. Local knowledge of plants and plant care, as well as cultural ways to tend and enclose the garden brought the garden to life as much as the plants contained inside.


Yesterday I took a moment to enjoy the garden. I heard the sound of running water, and saw the hose had been placed on the tile, a few inches off the dirt. I pretended it was a little waterfall in a river. I watched the water flooding the soil and pretended I was watching a creek flowing and spreading out upon the banks. I watched the paw print of a cat fill up with water and disappear. I felt the stress lift off my shoulders and my body sag with peace.


A garden in the middle of the desert: it sounds like an oxymoron. But it is an oasis. Every soldier and civilian from this base that comes to our compound stares in amazement. I have even watched a soldier make grass angels he was so excited to see grass. I have watched (and been one of them) to touch or walk on the grass as it is such a novelty and such a reminder of the homes we left.


I am thankful for the vision of that one man who dreamed of a little bit of home and beauty in such a harsh land. I am blessed by the help of locals who chose to help us have some beauty in this desert land of hard packed brown sand. I appreciate this little oasis. Through it, I have realized how important the colours of a garden are to my sense of well-being.


A garden is a collection of memories and dreams. It is not only grown for the hands that planted it, but for anyone who has eyes and takes the time to notice it.

February Publication!!!!

BOTH the acronym poems I submitted to Jill Badonsky's "The Museletter" have been published! When I submitted my acronym poems, she actually emailed back and said: "These are FABULOUS!!!!!! thanks" You can find my writing at:


http://www.themuseisin.com/newsletter/2006/february.html


She has also written a book, which I am currently reading, (after being a newsletter subscriber for a few months) entitled "The 9 Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard)." I recommend it to creative individuals even before I'm finished reading it!

Cool Quote

"I write for the same reason I breathe - for if I didn't, I would die."

Isaac Asimov

A stormy day in Iraq

Blue is the colour of raindrops in paintings and childrens's art. Today the sky is cloud-covered grey and raining down heavily upon us mortals. It has been raining since last night and - oh shoot: our roof just started leaking. BRB.

I now have a bowl on our bed to catch the drips and Val checked that the roof panels and says they look like they are still on. Chinese water drip torture in my room. This water is not blue, but brown - much like everything else in this desert! The wind has been blowing so hard all night and the roof panels are squeaking heavily; I can feel them fighting the wind. I was afraid that one might get blown off or bent and that our roof would leak and my fears have come true.

Well, we can be thankful that we made it one year without leaks; actually over a year b/c Val lived in this trailer for 6 mos before I arrived. That's pretty good for the quality of workmanship in this country! Usually you'll discover problems much earlier! Part of the problem is that Iraq does not get first country factory products; all the factory rejects get sent to third world countries. Therefore, you can open a sealed can of Coke and it will be empty. Or, you can put a brand new lightbulb in your lamp and it will explode. Literally.

The lights just flickered. It is flooded outside. Val and I are working from the room this morning. There is no way I am running the 40 or so steps to the leaky office trailer. Last year we had to use all 5 garbage cans and any other bowl we could find just to catch all the leaks in there and then it still flooded in one section - thru the walls and sandbags. I called it "Lake Craig" b.c it was by Craig's desk.

I am getting a back massage leaning against the wall. The wind is blowing so hard that our walls are actually shaking. You should see the pictures pinned to the wall - fluttering as if the wind was inside.

Gotta go. The leaks are intensifying.

Mock Resignation Letter

Feb. 2, 2006

I am moving on to greener pastures. The grass actually is greener on the other side, considering there is no grass on this side.

Today is my one year anniversary in country. I have fulfilled my contract, fulfilled my promise to Val and my challenge to myself. I don’t see the point of subjecting myself to this environment, this life style, and this country’s mentality any longer.

If this letter of resignation is not accepted, it will be followed by a suicide note.

Regards,

February acronym

F alling among
E mbers,
B roken
R esolve rears up.
U nderneath the
A ngel face is
R evolution in
Y our soul.

Skyelark Launch

On my one year anniversary of being in Iraq, I am launching this website. This is the place to come to read updates and news on our life in Iraq as well as current writing projects of mine!

So check back frequently and I hope you enjoy.